


Nobodies Can Love, Too

by daimonas



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gratuitous Smut, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Romance, Smut, Trans Roxas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 11:02:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11229591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daimonas/pseuds/daimonas
Summary: Roxas hates birthdays, particularly his own. This time, though, Axel is determined to change that.





	Nobodies Can Love, Too

**Author's Note:**

  * For [uptca](https://archiveofourown.org/users/uptca/gifts).



> This is a birthday gift for one of my absolute best friends, [@uptca](https://twitter.com/uptca)! I love you so much, babe, I hope you enjoy!

"Dude, stop being such an asshat and lighten up already!"

The statement is loud, antagonizing, and comes with a body pressing into Roxas on his left side. Roxas scowls and tightens his fist around his drink before trying to shrug the offending person off. All he succeeds in is getting the person to drape a loose arm over his shoulders, further stifling his already-popped personal bubble. "Hayner, shove off!"

Hayner lets out a loud groan and buries his forehead into Roxas's shoulder. "You're supposed to be enjoying yourself! Today is just like any other day, remember? We're just a few friends out enjoying a drink."

"Except we're out because it's my birthday. I already told you I didn't want to do anything today. If it's supposed to be _my_ day, why are we doing something I don't want to do?"

"Is it really that bad?" Olette chimes in, nudging Roxas with her elbow. "You usually like coming to the Grease Monkey."

Roxas rolls his eyes and finishes off the last drink of his beer before waving the empty bottle at Cid. Cid acknowledges his request with a curt nod, sliding the ever-present toothpick in his mouth from one side to the other before turning to fill the order. Roxas sets the bottle down gently and sighs. "I just don't feel like birthdays are anything special, you know? I mean, the same shit happens every day. The world isn't going to stop turning just because it's my birthday."

"We know, we know!" Pence groans from his other side, eliciting a giggle from Hayner and Olette.

"It doesn't mean that our worlds can't stop for you. Just let us spoil you a bit for once," Hayner says, turning his head to rest his cheek on Roxas's shoulder.

Roxas sighs and shakes his head, but lets out a breathy laugh after. "That was pretty gay, Hayner."

"Only for you, sweetheart," Hayner teases, picking up his head to slap a loud kiss on Roxas's cheek. Roxas relents and lets himself laugh, shoving at Hayner to finally get him off his back.

"Hey, now. No fightin' in my bar," Cid warns when he comes to set Roxas's fresh beer on the bar in front of him.

"Don't be so grumpy, old man," Roxas teases, picking up his beer and taking a sip.

Cid scoffs. "You're one to talk. How old _are_ you now? Fourty-seven?"

"I may as well be with how much my damn back bothers me."

"Careful what you wish for, kid. Gettin' old ain't too fun. You get even crankier than you are now."

"Roxas? More cranky? I think we'd all be killed," Pence chimes.

"True enough," Cid says. "Anyway, I gotta get back to work. Happy birthday, kid. Tell me when you're ready for your shot."

Roxas groans. "No hard liquor. I'd like to keep my liver functioning tonight."

"What's the point in having a birthday if you can't be belligerent drunk by the end of it?"

Hayner holds up his beer. "Cheers to that, Cid."

The group laughs and Cid shakes his head, but smiles. He turns to get back to work and Roxas finally turns in his stool to face Hayner. He takes a sip of his beer before asking. "Where's Sora, anyway? I figured he'd be all about coming out tonight. He usually loves doting on me when it's my birthday."

"Ahh - I think him and Riku are busy doing something?" Hayner says with a shrug, casting his eyes to the side before looking back at Roxas with a smile. "I'm pretty sure they said they were going to come by later, though. They'll probably bring Kairi, too."

Roxas raises an eyebrow at that. "Kairi? Her and Sora are talking again?"

"From what I hear," Olette says. "Apparently it just took a while for Kairi to move past their break up. I mean, I feel for her. It's not every day you have a guy dump you because he realizes he's gay."

"I mean, Sora couldn't really help that," Roxas says defensively. "We're young, and we haven't really had much of a chance to date around."

"Yeah, I think Kairi realized that. Like I said, it just took her a while. She's come around, though. I think they're going to be even better friends than they were before they dated, honestly."

"For sure," Hayner says. "Speaking of relationships - how are you and that one guy Roxas? Axel, wasn't it?"

Roxas nods, but feels his mood drop. He offers a measly shrug before digging his phone out of his pocket and illuminating his screen. He doens't have any messages and feels his heart drop further. "I mean, I thought we were perfectly fine. But besides a 'good morning, happy birthday' text this morning, I haven't gotten shit from him. He said he might be busy today, but I didn't realize that meant I wouldn't hear from him at all."

"Maybe he really is just busy? Besides, you said the world doesn't stop just because it's your birthday. Maybe he had plans ahead of time. How long have you two been dating?" Pence asks.

Roxas shrugs and fills a short silence with a sip of his beer, stalling to try come up with a half-lie. The truth was, even though they weren't even together, Roxas was in love with the guy. He just wouldn't say it. Not yet. Not until they met first. "We're not.. dating, per say. We've just been talking for a few months and we both know we like each other, but.. We don't know if we really want to do the long distance thing. Neither of us have done it before and it's a little.. daunting."

"Well if you really like him, what's stopping you?" Olette asks.

"It's just - we're both busy, you know? I'm trying to finish up school and he spends his days working. There's a lot of times where we only get to text through the day, and some days where we can't even talk at all. And.. well.. as distant as I can be, I'm also really clingy? Especially when it comes to romantic partners. So I just think it'll be hard, is all."

"No relationships are easy, Rox," Hayner says encouragingly. "But if the guy is really worth it, you'll figure out a way."

"I suppose," Roxas says, his tone still unbelieving although talking about his anxieties had helped ease some of them when it came to him and Axel's sort-of relationship. "Thanks, guys. Sorry for talking personal shit at the bar. I know we're here to have fun."

"Hey, man, it's no problem. I'm not very good with relationship advice but you know I'm always here to lend a listening ear," Pence says. Roxas smiles at him.

"Us, too," Hayner says, wrapping an arm around Olette's shoulders. Olette smiles and nods, giving Roxas an encouraging pat on the knee. Roxas flashes a smile at them and takes another drink of his beer. Hayner moves away from Olette's side and squeezes between her and Roxas before saying, "Anyway! Cid! I think it's time for a birthday shot!"

"Wait - what - no!" Roxas sputters, spinning around in his chair and shaking his head frantically in Cid's direction. Cid notices and chuckles to himself before grabbing a glass from under the bar and walking over to the group. Roxas stares at the glass - it's a regular-sized glass, not just a shot glass - then looks up at Cid with wide eyes. "Are you _trying_ to kill me?"

"Oh, shut it," Cid says, shifting the toothpick around from one side of his mouth the other again as he turns to grab the liquor required for the shot. When he turns back around, he glances at Roxas as he gets to work. "You ever take one of these before?"

Roxas shakes his head. "Why does that sound so menacing?"

"Ohhh, you're going to love it!" Olette squeals at his side, clapping her hands together.

"Alright, then," Cid says as he continues mixing three different liquors into the cup. "So here's the deal - it's sort of like a candle, right? I'm going to light it on fire, sprinkle some cinnamon on it to make it spark, then you're going to blow it out and drink it."

Roxas swallows. "I - you - _what_? You're lighting it on _fire_?"

They all laugh and Roxas glances around at his friends. Before he can yell at them, though, Cid holds a lighter over the cup and asks, "Ready?"

Roxas stares from the cup to him, then back again. He swallows another bout of anxiety, but decides to play along. "As ready as I'll ever be, I guess."

Without missing a beat, Cid flicks the lighter and lights the half-full cup of liquid on fire. He grabs a cinnamon shaker that Roxas hadn't seen earlier and shakes it a few times into the flames, causing them to spark. The fire reminds Roxas of summer nights camping with his family, gathered around the campfire telling ghost stories; and suddenly, Roxas isn't as scared anymore. He leans forward, blowing on the fire and making sure it's out before tipping the cup to his lips and taking the shot. It goes down smoothly - completely unexpected on Roxas's end - and Roxas is actually able to finish it in one go. It tastes sweet, but not so sweet it's going to hurt his stomach, and the bite of cinnamon makes it taste almost like a snickerdoodle cookie. When it's gone, he sets the cup down and wipes the excess liquid from his lips.

"See?" Cid asks, taking the cup back from Roxas. "Not so bad, was it?"

"No, it wasn't," Roxas manages, smiling at the bartender. "It actually didn't taste bad, either."

Cid winks at Roxas and wishes him another happy birthday before taking his leave of the group again. Hayner, Pence, and Olette all pat Roxas on the back and wish him a happy birthday, as well. Roxas laughs, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He hadn't realized how badly he'd been stressed - between schoolwork and the stuff with Axel, he'd been feeling pretty shitty lately.

Little did he know, his night was about to get much better.

"Oh, good! It looks like I made it here just in time!"

Roxas freezes, his smile disappearing. Though the voice is still somewhat new to him, he has it engrained in his memory. He's stayed up countless nights, doing nothing but listening to that voice tell him of its passions, its desires, its regrets. He's heard that voice whispered in the middle of the night while he lay on skype, scared and alone and crying out for him to be its saviour. He's listened to that voice moan his name from two of the most perfect lips he's ever seen, pulling from him his deepest wants and desires. He's heard that voice cry, and laugh, and yell. He's never heard such a beautiful voice and now it's here, right behind him, and he's almost afraid to look.

He does anyway.

When Roxas turns, Axel is there, standing with a half-cocky grin plastered to his beautiful face. His eyes, such a piercing green, are big, and bright, and filled with such a tender love that Roxas almost wants to cry. He's been dreaming of seeing Axel for months - of touching him, feeling him, being with him - and now he's _right here._

"What - what are you doing here?" Roxas asks, his voice barely carrying over the sounds of the bar.

Axel's smile falters a bit, but not enough to be noticeable. "You're not excited?"

"No, no, I am!" Roxas proclaims, waving his free hand in front of him. "I just - wow. Uhm. How??"

Axel grins and steps to the side slightly before saying, "I think you have them to thank for this."

Roxas reluctantly moves his eyes away from Axel's face and looks behind him. Sora, Riku, and Kairi are gathered behind him. They all smile at him and wave before Sora steps forward and crosses his arms over his puffed-out chest. "I'll let you know, this wasn't easy, but that expression on your face was definitely worth the trouble!"

Everyone giggles and, for the first time, Roxas is aware that his face probably looks ridiculous. He snaps his mouth shut, indicating that it had been hanging open for a while, and relaxes his raised brows. He feels his cheeks pinken, but he turns his eyes to Axel again. He looks him up and down and when their eyes meet again, Axel is smiling softly at him.

"Is this real life?" Roxas blurts, still unbelieving.

Axel laughs and Roxas feels his heart speed up. _God_ the sound of Axel's laugh was even more beautiful in person. Axel's eyes never leave Roxas's as he steps forward, holding out his hands. "It is, love. Now, are you going to get up and give me a proper greeting yet?"

Without thinking, Roxas's body responds on its own. He sets his beer on the bar, standing from his stool and rushing forward into Axel's arms. Roxas had known Axel was taller than him, but when his cheek settles against Axel's chest, he feels his eyes open in surprise. Axel is nearly an entire head taller than Roxas and, almost as if to prove this point, Axel rests his chin gently on top of Roxas's head as he wraps his arms around him. Roxas groans inwardly, but relishes the feeling of Axel's body against his. He is nearly overwhelmed with emotion and chooses to hide his face in Axel's chest instead. He squeezes the man tightly and takes a deep breath, inhaling the smell of him. He has the sharp smell of a men's soap, and Roxas relishes the immediate rush the smell gives him. "oo mll ns," Roxas mumbles into Axel's chest.

Axel laughs and loosens his grip on Roxas so he can lean his face down to Roxas's. "What was that?"

Roxas turns his face against Axel's chest and repeats himself. "I said you smell nice."

Axel laughs and turns his head towards Roxas. Roxas is immediately aware of how close their lips are. If he just leaned forward an inch, he could -

"If you even think about making out right now, I'm going to kill you," Sora warns from right beside them.

Roxas growls, turning an angered expression to his brother. Axel chuckles and rubs Roxas's back gently before leaning back up and ghosting a kiss over to top of Roxas's head. Roxas immediately forgets his anger and smiles, finally releasing Axel from his grip and taking a step back. Before he can get away, though, Axel grabs his hand, lacing their fingers together. "I'm not letting you get away that easily," Axel teases.

"Where did you two meet anyway?" Olette asks from behind Roxas.

"Online," Axel answers. "Tumblr, to be more exact. Yelling about our favorite things led from one thing to the other."

"Oh, God," Hayner groans, flopping himself into Roxas's now-unoccupied stool. "Don't tell me you like that Voltron show, too."

Axel laughs. "I do, actually. And Mass Effect. And Skyrim. And pretty much everything Roxas talks about on a regular basis."

Hayner groans again, burying his face in his hands. Roxas rolls his eyes. "You know it's not that bad. You watched it with me and said you liked it."

Hayner throws his arms into the air. "Yeah, I like it, but I'm not like, obsessed with it like you are!"

"Anyway!" Kairi interrupts, stepping forward finally. "It's great to see you, Roxas, but I'm sure you'd like some alone time with Axel?"

Roxas glances at Axel and Axel gives him a reassuring smile. Roxas smiles back and nods, squeezing Axel's hand gently. "Yeah, I think I would."

He uses his free hand to try to dig his wallet out of his pocket, but Sora waves him off. "Don't worry about your tab, bro. I'll take care of it."

Roxas nods. "Thanks. You can finish my beer if you want."

Sora wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. "Yuck. Babe, you want it?"

Riku shrugs. "Sure, I'll finish it off. Can't let alcohol go to waste."

"True that!" Hayner exclaims, holding his beer up in the air. He takes a drink then points the end of his bottle to Roxas, then to the door. "Now you two, get! Go enjoy yourselves. My job here is done!"

Roxas raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean 'your job'? You knew?"

Hayner grins and winks at his friend. Roxas narrows his eyes at Hayner, then Pence and Olette, who are all smiling wickedly at him. "You all knew, didn't you?"

Pence rolls his eyes. "Honestly, Roxas, you think we would actually drag you out of your apartment and risk you throwing a fit just because it's your birthday? We're your friends. We know better than that."

Roxas wants to pretend to be angry, but he can't help the smile that escapes his lips. He glances between the group - at Hayner, Pence, Olette, Sora, Riku, and Kairi - and offers them a wide smile. "You all are the best."

"We know," Hayner and Sora say in unison, causing the group to laugh.

"Well, as much as I would love to stay and get to know you all, I did come here with a specific purpose in mind," Axel says when the laughing dies down. Everyone nods and says their goodbyes and Axel turns, leading Roxas from the bar and out the front door. The night air is cool on Roxas's skin and he feels himself shudder, but he doesn't mind. His thoughts are still reeling - Axel is _here,_ in Radiant Garden, and it's _not a dream._

"Wait," Roxas says, slowing down his walk and pulling on Axel's hand. Axel stops walking and turns to him with a raised eyebrow. Roxas hesitates for a moment, but then steps forward and reaches a hand up to touch the side of Axel's face. Axel breaks into a smile and moves closer to wrap his arms around Roxas. Roxas rubs a thumb lightly over Axel's cheek, taking in the feel of flesh against his palm. He whispers, "You're really here."

"I am," Axel replies, turning his face to plant a light kiss on Roxas's palm. "Are you happy?"

"I - of course I am. I just - how?"

Axel shrugs, a playful smirk playing at the corners of his lips again. "I wanted to come celebrate your birthday with you. I figured it would be a good of time as any to meet face to face."

"You know I hate birthdays."

"You might, and honestly? They aren't particularly important to me, either. But, well - I care about you, Roxas. A lot. And I came because I wanted you to know just how much you mean to me."

Roxas feels his heart skip a bit and he remains quiet, watching Axel's face. His expression is sincere and Roxas has a hard time formulating the words to express how much Axel means to him. They may not be officially together, but they've been talking for months, and the redhead has grown to mean a great deal to Roxas. They had talked about being together, but neither of them had been sure if they were really willing to be in a relationship long-distance.

That is, until now.

"I want to be with you," Roxas whispers, his breathing shaky at the sudden nerves coursing through his system.

Axel's eyes widen for a moment at the suddenness of the statement, but when he recovers, his face melts into a gentle smile. He moves his hand from around Roxas's waist to place it on top of Roxas's hand on his cheek. He moves their hands to his lips, kissing the back of Roxas's before leaning his forehead against his knuckles. He lets out a shuddering laugh and, when he looks up, his eyes are glistening. "I was afraid -" he starts, but his voice cracks and he clears his throat, looking away for a moment. His smile fades and he pointedly stares away from Roxas as he says, "I was afraid once you met me, you wouldn't want to be with me. I don't - I don't know if I could have handled that.."

Roxas's brows knit together and he instinctively tilts his head to the side, trying to get Axel to look at him again. "Why would you think that?"

Axel shrugs and turns his eyes back to Roxas. When their eyes meet, he smiles again. He lets out another relieved laugh and untwines their hands to place his hand on Roxas's cheek. He says, "I want to be with you, too, Roxas."

Roxas can't help the smile that spreads across his face and, before he knows it, he pushes himself up on his toes to press his lips to Axel's. As soon as their lips meet, he feels it like an electric shock through his system. His entire body ignites and he knows, he just _knows,_ without any real explanation, this is who he's meant to be with. After months of talking, being there for one another in their darkest times, laughing and joking and skyping 24/7, Axel is here, and it's not a dream, and they're kissing. In their kiss is the energy of a thousand supernovas, expanding and colliding and exploding all at once. Roxas can feel it like he can feel Axel's body against him. The energy is tangible, and Roxas doesn't know exactly how to describe it but he finds he doesn't really care. He could die now and know that, somehow, he and Axel would meet again. It's like their souls were old, and they had known each other for a thousand lifetimes, and somehow, someway, they always came back to _this._

When Roxas pulls away and looks into Axel's eyes, he knows that Axel has felt it, too. He studies Axel's face, committing every feature to memory. Without another word, Axel leans forward and presses their lips together again. The kiss is more fervent, all of their anxieties melted away because how could they not kiss the lips they feel they've kissed a thousand times before in a thousand different lifetimes? Roxas presses forward, wrapping his arms around Axel's neck, parting his lips and letting his tongue trail a slow, wet line along Axel's bottom lip. Axel groans and pulls away, only far enough to break the kiss and rest his forehead against Roxas's. "I - I had a plan for tonight, but you're making me want to throw the entire thing down the drain and take you home with me."

Roxas smiles and says, "I thought I would mind but you know what? That actually sounds like a great idea."

Axel raises an eyebrow and lifts his head so he can look into Roxas's eyes. "But you said -"

"I know I said I wanted to take this slow, but haven't we? We may have finally put a label on our relationship tonight, but we've basically been together for a few months now. I wouldn't mind.. taking the next step. I mean, that is - if you wanted to.." Roxas trails, suddenly getting nervous and glancing away.

"Roxas, you've watched me touch myself for you on camera. I would love to take it to the next step, but only if you're sure that you're ready."

Roxas hesitates. He's ready to have sex, sure, but he's not really sure if he's ready for Axel's reaction to his body. He takes in a breath, letting it out in a puff before glancing at Axel and asking, "You're sure you don't mind if..?"

"If what?" Axel asks, confused.

"If I'm trans," Roxas says flatly, afraid to look at Axel's reaction. It's one thing to say he's okay with it online but now that they're actually here, in person, he was afraid that Axel wouldn't want anything to do with him.

"Roxas," Axel says, trying to get his attention. When Roxas doesn't look at him, he brings a hand to Roxas's face, guiding his lover's eyes to his own. When their eyes finally meet, Axel says, "Do you think I would really be here if I cared? It doesn't matter who you were born as. What matters is that now, you're Roxas. Now, you're who you're meant to be. And honestly, I love you more for that."

Roxas jolts, his eyes widening at the confession. They had said they loved each other before, but it was always in a joking way. They had never, to this day, seriously said it to one another. Roxas knew how he felt, but to hear it from Axel? He felt his stomach fill with butterflies. "Say it again."

"Say what again? That I love you? I figured that would have been obvious -"

Roxas cuts him off with a kiss. The kiss is short, but filled with all the words Roxas can't bring himself to say. _Thank you, I love you too, I'm so happy you're here and in my life._ When he pulls away, Axel is smiling at him and says, "How about we get going now? I wasn't sure if you would want me staying with you, so I got a hotel room. We can go there, if you like."

Roxas shakes his head, reaching down and twining their fingers together before leading Axel towards his car. "You can stay with me, if you want. It's at least a little less public than a hotel room."

Axel laughs. "True. I need to get my luggage out of Riku's car before we go."

"Oh, okay. I'll help you."

They walk together to where Riku had parked and Axel opens the backseat door. He pulls out a small, carry-on-sized bag and puts it over his shoulder before shutting the door and turning to Roxas. Roxas's heart falls at the sight of how small the bag is. "You're not staying long?"

Axel shrugs. "I'll stay as long as you want me here. I took vacation from work until next Monday."

Roxas raises an eyebrow. "That's like, a week and a few days. You didn't pack much clothing for all that time."

"I'll just do my laundry. Or we can go shopping for new clothes later. Or we could just lounge around your apartment naked all week. Who knows?"

Roxas sputters, his cheeks pinkening again. Axel laughs and waves a hand in front of himself. "Kidding, kidding. Though I wouldn't be against the idea."

"I'm sure," Roxas grumbles before turning to head back to his car. Axel follows behind him quietly. Roxas opens the trunk for Axel to put his bag in and walks around to get into the driver's side as Axel slips into the passenger seat. His car is smaller, so seeing Axel try to get in a position where he could stretch his legs a little brought a laugh to Roxas's lips.

"This car is not designed with tall people in mind," Axel mutters.

"It's not their fault you're freakishly huge."

"That's sort of a loaded statement, Roxas."

Roxas coughs, feeling his cheeks darken again. "Will you stop saying shit to make me blush? I've been a constant walking tomato since you've gotten here."

"In your defense, you're the cutest walking tomato I've ever seen."

"On second thought, you can stay at the hotel."

"No, no no no no!" Axel pleads through his laughter. "I'm kidding! Don't be heartless."

"You're lucky I like you," Roxas warns as he starts his car and backs out of the parking spot.

"Quite indeed I am."

They fall into a comfortable silence as Roxas drives to his apartment. As he does, Axel reaches over and rests a hand on Roxas's thigh. The gesture is mindless - Axel is busy watching the scenery pass by his window and not even looking at Roxas - but Roxas's attention cements to Axel's hand. He barely sees where he's going because all he can think about is the feeling of Axel's hand on his thigh, his index finger tracing light circles over the fabric of his jeans on his inner thigh. Roxas swallows, trying - and failing - to focus his attention on the road.

When they reach his apartment, he takes a deep breath, clearing his mind. Axel hardly notices - he's too enthralled with looking up the expanse of Roxas's apartment building. "Roxas! This place is huge!"

Roxas shrugs. He had grown up in the city, so he's used to the towering apartment buildings at this point. Axel, according to himself, had grown up in a secluded house in the country. He had never been outside of his own house, really, until he had gotten a job that required him to travel. As much as he travels, though, he apparently still hasn't gotten used to the city buildings. "Ready?" Roxas asks, turning to open his cardoor. Axel nods and follows him out. They stop to grab Axel's bag from the trunk, then turn to head up to Roxas's apartment.

"Which floor do you live on?" Axel asks, craning his neck to try to see the top of the building as they head through the front door.

"The seventh."

"Seventh?! How many are there?!"

Roxas pushes the call button for the elevator as he answers, "Fifteen."

"Holy - " Axel exclaims, disbelieving.

They step into the elevator once the doors open and Roxas pushes the button for his apartment. When the doors close, the immediate tension is obvious. Roxas is nervous, though he can't pinpoint exactly why. He's nervous about Axel seeing his apartment, where he lives. He's nervous because Axel is here, finally, and seeing people in person is so much _more_ than just speaking to them online. He's nervous about having sex with Axel. All of them combined causes Roxas's hands to start shaking. He attempts to hide it by balling his hands into fists and stuffing them under his armpits, but Axel notices the gesture and moves to put a hand on the small of Roxas's back. "We don't have to do anything tonight. We have the rest of the time I'm here to try anything. Don't push yourself just because you think I need it. I'm here for you, Roxas, and you only. Everything else is secondary."

Roxas sighs and leans into Axel's touch, causing the redhead to wrap his arms around the blonde. Roxas closes his eyes, immediately content in the warm circle of Axel's arms. He says, "I'm not.. scared, or pushing myself. It's just a combination of a lot of things hitting me at once. I'm nervous, but.. I want you."

Axel squeezes Roxas's shoulder reassuringly as the elevator dings that it's reached its location. The pair step out into a small landing. There's a door on the left, and one to the right. Roxas goes to the door on the right and digs his keys out of his pocket to unlock his door. Once inside, he does a quick glance-over, relieved that he had decided to clean before he went out tonight, in case Hayner or Pence had needed to stay at his place. When Axel is inside, Roxas closes the door behind him and steps into the apartment.

"Well," he says, glancing around and shrugging his shoulders. "This is pretty much it."

They enter into the main living area, furnished with nothing but a couch, coffee table, and small tv that housed Roxas's video games. To the right is a small kitchen with the bare necessities - a fridge, stove, microwave, and coffee pot - all stainless steel.  To the left was the bedroom and bathroom, both doors open to reveal each room.

Roxas waits as Axel glances around, then holds his hand out to take his bag. "I'll put your bag away real quick if you want to make yourself at home."

Axel nods and hands his bag over before making his way to sit on the couch. Roxas walks to his room, setting Axel's bag on the opposite side of the bed that he usually sleeps on, then walks back to the living room. He glances at Axel sitting on the couch and has another stunned moment of disbelief. Axel catches him looking and raises an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"

Roxas shakes his head, his face breaking into a wide grin. "I'm just - really happy you're here, is all."

Axel smiles and holds his arms open again. Roxas moves to sit next to him, but Axel grabs his hands and guides him into his lap. Roxas steps forward, putting a knee on either side of Axel so that he straddles his lap, and wraps his hands around the back of Axel's neck. Axel's smile widens and he reaches around, putting his hands on the small of Roxas's back to cement him in place. He leans forward, nuzzling his face into Roxas's neck, and says, "I'm happy I'm here, too."

Roxas smiles and runs a finger through Axel's hair. Axel lets out a content sigh, encouraging Roxas to continue, and Roxas is more than happy to oblige. He grabs a strand of Axel's hair, twisting it gently between his fingers, and runs his other hand slowly through his hair. After a while, Axel mumbles, "I could fall asleep if you keep doing that."

"Oh?" Roxas asks, continuing to twirl the strand of hair between his fingers. He uses the hand brushing through Axel's hand to push Axel back a bit, causing the redhead to look up. Roxas grins and says, "How about when I do this?"

He drops the strand of hair and puts both hands on either of Axel's cheeks as he leans down and presses their lips together. Axel's response is immediate and he runs his hand up Roxas's back, then back down again, sending chills up Roxas's spine. Roxas parts his lips against Axel's, repeating what he had done in the parking lot before and letting his tongue slide between his lips to glance over Axel's bottom lip. Roxas moves his hands again, moving them back around Axel's neck as he deepens the kiss. Axel slides his hands to Roxas's sides, down to his hips, his thighs, and back up. He repeats the motion and Roxas sighs into their kiss. He pulls back slightly but leans in again to capture Axel's bottom lip between his teeth, biting down gently. Axel's hands stop in their tracks on Roxas's thighs and he squeezes, causing Roxas to let go of Axel's lip and gasp.

Desperately, Roxas tries to remember everything Axel had mentioned he liked. As if his distress is clear in his features, Axel leans forward and trails a line of kisses along Roxas's jaw. "Don't worry about me," he says huskily. "Today is your day. Tell me what you want."

Unable to speak the words aloud, Roxas looks down and notices an exposed part of Axel's neck. He leans down and tentatively licks the skin and Axel responds by tilting his head, exposing a larger part of skin. Taking it as invitation enough, Roxas presses light kisses to his skin before opening his mouth and capturing a piece of skin between his teeth. The bite is gentle, but it's enough to cause Axel to groan and squeeze Roxas's thighs again. Roxas feels Axel's reaction send a rush of warmth through his body and he lets out a moan, grinding his hips forward into Axel's. Axel lets out a gasp, but lets out a long, satisfied groan when their hips meet. Relishing the noise, Roxas pulls back and grinds forward again, trailing the tip of his tongue up Axel's neck as he grinds against him. He trails his tongue to the very end of Axel's ear, giving his ear a light nip before whispering against it, "Take me to my room."

Axel is more than happy to oblige and wraps his arms under Roxas's thighs, scooting to the edge of the couch before hefting them both up easily. Roxas wraps his legs around Axel's waist to hold himself in place, and busies himself with the skin of Axel's neck as he's carried to the bedroom. Axel grunts when he pushes the door open and says, "You're making it increasingly difficult to walk."

Roxas smiles and leans back in Axel's arms to press their lips together again. Axel greets him eagerly and leans forward to set him down gently on the bed. Roxas grabs the end of Axel's shirt when he's set down and pushes it up his body. Axel eagerly pushes his shirt over his head and lets it fall to the floor. He goes to kiss Roxas again but Roxas stops him, putting a hand on his chest before their lips can meet again. Axel pulls back, concerned, and sees that Roxas is looking away from him. "Roxas? What's wrong?"

Roxas glances at Axel, lets his eyes trail down his lover's body before coming back up to meet his eyes again. Swallowing his nerves, Roxas whispers, "I want you to see me."

Axel studies him for a moment, but eventually nods. "Okay. If you're ready."

Roxas nods and, gathering his courage, pushes Axel back so he can stand up. He puts his hands on Axel's biceps, guiding him around so that he sits on the bed instead. When Axel is sitting, Roxas places a gentle kiss to his lips before taking a step back. He takes a shuddering breath before taking the end of his shirt and lifting it over his head. He gives Axel a moment to take him in - he's muscular, but not overly so, and has the scars under his pectorals from his top surgery two years ago - but before Axel can say anything, he hurriedly unbuttons his jeans and lets them and his boxers fall to the floor. He doesn't give Axel a chance this time, and the second his clothes hit the floor, he moves forward to straddle Axel again. Axel accepts his weight and angles his head up to meet Roxas's feverish kisses. The redhead runs his hands up and down Roxas's back again, and Roxas prays that he can't feel his trembling hands.

Axel lays back, making sure to put his hand on the back of Roxas's neck so Roxas follows him.  When Roxas is leaning over Axel, he pulls away and pushes himself back up on his hands to look over his lover. He's quiet for a moment, and before he can say anything, Axel says, "You're beautiful, Roxas."

Roxas looks away, his cheeks turning pink, and suddenly he wants to hide, his momentary courage gone. "I don't feel very beautiful."

Axel moves, grabbing onto the back of Roxas's left knee and lifting it up so he can move out from under him. Roxas lays on the bed next to Axel and Axel moves to sit between Roxas's legs. He leans over him, just as Roxas had just been doing, and leans down to press a gentle kiss to Roxas's forehead. "You're the most beautiful man I've ever seen."

Roxas closes his eyes, mulling the words over in his head. Suddenly, he feels light - like a weight he didn't know he'd been carrying has been lifted from his chest. When he opens his eyes, Axel is watching him with a soft smile.

"Is this okay?" Axel asks, moving a hand to touch Roxas's cheek.

"Yeah, I'm.. alright." Roxas assures, and Axel smiles as he leans down to kiss him again. As soon as their lips touch, the kisses turn fervent again, their original intention clear in the sudden heat between their bodies.  Axel pulls away and lays trailing kisses down Roxas cheek, his jaw, and finally reaches his neck. When his lips touch Roxas's neck, he brings a hand to the other side, trailing gentle fingertips down Roxas's neck, his collarbone, his chest. His fingers ghost over Roxas's nipple and when Roxas lets out a soft gasp, Axel stops his hand movement, circling his fingertip over Roxas's nipple again. Roxas moans lightly and Axel responds by nipping his neck, eliciting another small gasp from the blonde.

"You sound so good when you moan, Roxas," Axel whispers against Roxas's neck. Roxas groans, arching his back slightly into Axel's hand in reaction to the heat that spreads through his body. Axel takes the blonde's nipple between his fingers, pinching slightly, and Roxas jerks his body back into the bed. The readhead kisses his neck and moves down, trailing soft kisses over Roxas's chest as he does. When he reaches Roxas's other nipple, he lets his tongue snake from between his lips, circling it gently with the tip of his tongue. Roxas's breathing picks up at the sensation and he can't help the next moan that escapes his lips. Axel smiles and trails his hand away from Roxas's nipple, down his stomach, until he reaches his hips. He pulls Roxas's nipple between his teeth, biting down gently and getting another irresistible moan from his lover before sitting up to look at him. Slowly, he lets his hand trail lower, down to his thigh. Roxas opens his eyes and looks at him. Quietly, the redhead asks, "Still alright?"

When Roxas nods, Axel lets his hand drift between Roxas's legs. He pushes himself up so he can press his lips to Roxas's again. Immediately, Roxas is focused on this kiss, the feeling of Axel's lips against his own. He feels the rest of his anxiety melt away as his lover's gentle ministrations. Axel finally touches Roxas gently, pressing his finger against the most sensitive spot on Roxas's body. Roxas gasps again, letting the breath out in a soft, almost unperceivable whimper. He's touched himself so often before, but nothing compares to the feeling of someone else's hands on him.

Slowly, Axel begins to move his finger, rubbing it in gentle circles. Roxas moves his hands up, twining his fingers into Axel's long hair and crushing their lips together - demanding, pleading. _Touch me, it's okay, please touch me more._ Axel catches his cue and starts to rub faster, rubbing quick circles around and around and around, until Roxas can't catch his breath and he desperately tries to cling to Axel because he wants _more._

Roxas, without thinking, moves, and Axel's hand slips down until his fingers cover Roxas's dripping entrance. Without missing a beat, Axel plunges a finger into Roxas, and Roxas lets out a cry of pleasure. Axel moves his finger at a maddeningly slow pace, careful to pay attention to Roxas's reactions. Roxas slides his hands from Axel's hair to his shoulders, gripping them tightly. He opens his eyes and immediately sees Axel's piercing green eyes staring into his. Roxas bites his lower lip and whispers, "I want you inside me."

Axel leans down and presses a kiss to Roxas's lips again. When their lips meet, Axel adds a second finger to the first and quickens his pace. Against his lips, Axel whispers, "Tell me how bad."

Roxas whimpers. The sensation of Axel's fingers pumping in and out of him, the commanding tone behind Axel's statement, has him dangerously close to going insane. "Please, Axel.."

"Mmmm.. please what?"

"I want you - want you to- ahh!" Roxas cries as Axel moves his thumb to start rubbing at his most sensitive spot again, at the same time he continued to move his fingers in and out of the blonde.

"What do you want me to do, Roxas? Do you want me to keep fucking you with my fingers? Or are you ready for me yet?"

"I'm - ahhh, Axel! - please, I want you to fuck me."

The confession pours quickly out of Roxas's lips, surprising himself. He had had sex before but never had he _wanted_ it so badly. Right now, in this instant, he wanted Axel to have his way with him. He wanted Axel to fuck him, hard.

"I don't know if you're ready for me yet, baby. I may need you to wait a little longer."

"God, Axel, please - !"

Axel chuckles softly, pressing a light kiss to Roxas's lips before sitting back on his knees. He unbuttons his jeans, maneuvering himself out of both them and his boxers. He tosses them onto the ground and Roxas takes the moment to glance at his hardened cock - average in length, but thick, circumcised. When he settles back onto his knees, Roxas moves his eyes back to his. Axel climbs back over him, settling his body between Roxas's legs again, and presses a gentle kiss to his forehead, his nose, his lips. Roxas wraps an arm around Axel's neck, holding him in place, and parts his lips to deepen the kiss once again. He hears the tearing of a package he hadn't seen, and feels Axel adjust himself to roll the condom over his member. When it's in place, Roxas feels him position himself at his entrance. He spreads his legs more, encouraging him, and Axel follows suit. He pushes in, slowly, until his head is sheathed by Roxas's walls. Roxas moans at the feeling of Axel inside of him, and lets out a cry when Axel starts fucking his tip in and out slowly. The sensation sends another wave of heat through Roxas's body and he can't resist crying out, "Axel, please, fuck me!"

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Axel pushes into him slowly. Roxas takes deep breaths as Axel pushes forward, forward, forward, until their hips meet and the redhead's cock is completely sheathed by Roxas's walls. Axel rests there a moment, letting Roxas get used to the feeling of him being inside of him, then starts to move.

He starts in wide, slow strokes, even though Roxas wants more. Axel buries his face into Roxas's neck, fucking in and out of him slowly. He moans, "Roxas, you feel so fucking good around me."

Roxas angles his hips up, causing Axel to slam into him. Both of them let out a cry, and suddenly whatever control Axel had been clinging to is lost. He start quickening his pace, moving faster and faster in shorter strokes, until he's pounding into Roxas over and over again. They're both panting and Roxas is letting out cry after cry of, "Axel, god, yes, right there - !"

When he's getting close, Axel puts his hand on Roxas's hip and gives it a rough squeeze. He sits up and Roxas opens his eyes to look at him as he continues fucking into him. Axel squeezes his hip again and says, "Cum for me, baby. I want to see you cum."

Roxas moans loudly, gripping desperately at Axel's back. Axel moves his hand from Roxas's hip, letting his thumb find Roxas's sensitive spot again. As soon as he touches it, Roxas feels his abdomen begin to knot. He lets out a cry, angling his hips into Axel's thumb, causing him to press harder. He starts moving his thumb in circles and he pounds into him and in moments, Roxas feels the knot in his abdomen release. "That's it, baby," Axel coaxes. "Cum for me."

Roxas lets out a cry when he finishes. He arches his back into Axel and Axel grunts, moving his hand away from his sensitive spot but continuing to fuck into him. After a few more thrusts, Axel lets out a moan and sheaths himself completely into Roxas. Roxas feels him twitch inside of him as he finishes and he lets out another soft whimper. When he's finished, Axel pulls himself out of Roxas and collapses on top of him. Roxas wraps his arms around Axel's neck, placing gentle kisses in the redhead's hair.

They lay there, breathing heavily, for what seems like an eternity. When their breathing finally starts to calm, Roxas whispers, "Axel?"

"Nnn?" Axel moans softly, already almost drifting off to sleep.

"I love you."

Axel picks up his head, letting his eyes find Roxas's. Roxas feels himself blush and he resists the urge to hide as Axel watches him. After a few moments, Axel's face breaks into an enormous grin, and he leans down to nuzzle their noses together. "I love you too, Roxas. You make me happy."

Roxas smiles and runs his fingertips down the side of Axel's face. He says, "Thank you for making my birthday something special. I'm so happy you're finally here."

Axel smiles again and kisses him gently.  "As am I."

He rests his forehead against Roxas's a moment, waiting for their breathing to calm down entirely. When it does, he moves to lay next to Roxas on the bed. They both climb under the blankets and Axel lays on his side, allowing Roxas to snuggle his face into his chest. Axel runs his fingertips up and down Roxas's side and, before long, he feels Roxas relax entirely underneath his touch, his breathing even. Axel smiles, placing a gentle kiss to the top of Roxas's head. "Goodnight, Roxas."

Roxas stirs, cuddling more into Axel's body. "mmm.. 'night, Axel."

His breathing goes even again and, within moments, he's asleep. It doesn't take Axel long to follow suit.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh, I hope you all enjoyed! Particularly you, Caleb! Happy birthday~


End file.
